Tag Archives: anger

Day 102: Chrysalis in the Cinders

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I went to the park to walk my dog and de-stress from the day. It was a good day, just long and hard and I needed to unwind with my puppy.

The park backs up to some houses, one of which has a fence that is incomplete. The people who live there have a pair of dogs. They’ve gotten out before and caused some minor mischief, nothing serious. They got out again today and chased my dog, who chased them back. The woman who lives in the house came out screaming and cussing at me, furious that I dare walk my dog past her house and get her dogs riled up.

I have no idea why this bothers me as much as it does. It could be any number of combinations of things. This year, is a year of transformation and I think that right now I’m experiencing some growing pains.

Here’s to hope, to love, and to growth.

Chrysalis in the Cinders

Day 97: Chase the Shine

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Wait, Day 97? What happened to 96?

I missed it.

No excuse, I had an opportunity to do it during my break at work and I passed on. After that, when I got home I crashed. Hard. Been trying to do so much lately. Not the point.

I am proud that it took me 96 days before is missed a poem. New goal: try to go the rest of the year without missing another one. If I am to miss another, try to beat my 96 day streak.

Today’s poem is inspired by missing yesterday’s. I couldn’t tell you why Neverland and Peter Pan popped into my head, exactly, though in this context it certainly makes sense. Those stories are really depressing and downright frightening at their heart. Missed and stolen opportunities.

A piece of me mourns the loss of yesterday’s poem. It will never be written, never grow up, or go on adventures. It won’t even get to die because it was never born. Simply missed. An adventure not taken, an opportunity not explored. On the other hand, I am taking to heart why this is so valuable to me. The pursuit of dreams, seeing beauty realized and brought to fruition. Here is a rededication to never stop chasing the shine.

Chase the Shine

Day 34: Untitled

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First time sharing a poem and not giving it a title. I’d love to hear your thoughts, ideas, or suggestions. Let me know what you think it should be called in the comments below!

Been thinking on the nature of forgiveness and resentment this morning. Consider the act of simply letting go something that frustrates you or a wrong that has been done. Simple right? Easy, not so much. How does one actually perform the act of release? It’s a choice but is that the end of it? I don’t think so. I think forgiveness is a continuous series of choices, or perhaps a single choice set on repeat, that is at worst set to an eternal repeat.

Failure to make the choice, however often it needs to be made, results in holding tight to something. Something that might give you power. Something that might burn you from the inside out. Something that might turn toxic and burn people it’s not intended for.

I was asked the other day if I EVER got mad or angry. I do. Only I do one of two things with it. I let it go right away. Or I hold onto it, or a part of it, and bury it deep, where it slowly accumulates like a landfill until it spills over in passive aggressive acts or an unfounded explosion. Probably oversharing here. Just processing this habit of mine, contemplating the effects, and how to prevent it from happening or finding an appropriate outlet.

Untitled

Day 16: Magma Mosquito

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There is nothing so frustrating as being presented with the opportunity to do what you love, to create something amazing, and finding yourself distracted or frustrated at every turn by countless little things that build up and go wrong until you finally just want to explode. Did not get done everything I wanted to today and pouring my frustration out here. Melodramatic? Probably. Mildly beneficial? Oh yes. Now, if only I didn’t feel like this poem is terrible. Oh well, revisit and revise, right?

Magma Mosquito