2/13/20: Untitled

Mixing up my formatting today. Think I may be doing it this was going forward.

Started off the day in one of those nasty funks we all sometimes get into. This poem marked the start of a turning point in my day, written during my lunch break, almost like I was writing it to motivate myself as much as anything else. It worked.

Untitled

Day 135: Purpose Driven Engine Two Point Oh

Got to thinking during my quiet time this morning about something my bride said to me about the way I have focused on becoming a writer. I am purpose driven. This year more so than any other time in my life. That said, I’ve been sluggish lately, especially in a creative capacity.

Good changes are in progress and I need to take advantage of the opportunities they are affording me. To do so I am going back to basics. Today I am returning the the goals that I set for myself this year. I am re-examining my processes and the balance in my life.

Purpose Driven Engine Two Point Oh

Day 124 & Day 125: Stranger’s Embrace, Winding Roads

Today and yesterday’s poems! I figured another two-fer would be better than a three-fer.

Stranger‘s Embrace

Winding Roads

Days 162 & 163: Untitled; Living a Story

Confession. I hate yesterday’s poem. I’m sure I’m not alone as a poet who occasionally produces something he or she is unhappy with. I kept waiting for inspiration to strike me with something better and it never came. Lesson learned: push forward anyway. Momentum is more important than perfection. I’m beginning to suspect that I’m a rather dense student because this lesson seems somewhat familiar by this point.

In that spirit of moving forward, here are the poems for both 162 and 163.

I wanted to write about prosperity and this is what came out…

Untitled

I was contemplating the nature of control this morning and realized that I have several personal hangups surrounding it that I need to work on. One of which is the struggle with the idea that I am not the author of my own life, but rather the protagonist in my own story. It’s an interesting reframing that’s given me much to think on and at the same time is more than a little freeing.

Living a Story

Days 157-159: Enough for the Stories; Free the Fear; Sniping for Success

I’ve got a bit of backlog again. I’ve been writing but not publishing my writing as I should. I’d intended to spread out several of these backed up poems out over the course of the day but the day had other plans. So did the next. And it has been brought to my attention that when a backlog such as this occurs, that those following his blog do not like being suddenly inundated with multiple updates. So, here is my attempt at compromise. One post. Three poems. Today’s own post will follow shortly.

Day 157: Enough for the Stories

This poem was written in an effort to recapture the loss of the poem, Creative’s Career, which I started in a moment of inspiration that was cut short and the scrap of paper I’d written it down on was thought lost. While the opening is very similar, It ultimately became its own thing. Every time I finish a book, my mind is overwhelmed with ideas. Many of them for entirely new projects or for things I’ve set aside to do later when often what I need to do most is push forward onto the next book in whatever series I’ve started. So many ideas. So many stories to tell. It’s a little overwhelming.

Enough for the Stories

Day 158: Free the Fear

I have been my own worst enemy with my writing. I’ve said before that part of the reason I use pennames is because they give me permission to fail. Permission to simply write. In essence, when I go into a piece knowing that I am going to publicly claim it as my own, I am writing from a place of fear and I think it is undermining my efforts. That got me thinking about the nature of fear and courage and what is required of me with regards to both if I am to succeed as a professional creative. Perhaps what is required of many of us going forward.

Free the Fear

Day 159: Sniping for Success

There is a principle in professional investing that is difficult for many to wrap their heads around, let alone embrace, and which I feel applies to many areas of life. Diversify your investments. Bleed money. Aim wide. The idea is that you’re waiting for something called a “black swan,” which is to say the rare and unpredictable success. Something is going to do well eventually and it all boils down to a test of endurance. Waiting for that single critical moment to strike, the build off of. Then repeating the process over again.

Sniping for Success

Day 148: Ants in a Rat Race

I’ve been really caught up in work lately. My part time job, my novels, the audiobook production, trying to do everything in a day. I just about burned myself out. This weekend I took a big step back and let myself rest. I am rethinking my approach.

I have a truly blessed life. My problems are all great problems to have. I need to slow it down and enjoy my amazing present and the process.

Ants in a Rat Race

Day 147: The Gift of Presence

I love where I live. I am grateful that my bride and I have moved here. This is a wonderful, welcoming community that has been very good to both of us.

I have two good friends who I do not speak to as often as I wish I could or even as often as I should. My family often has events that I have to decline the invitations to. Our home is wonderful, I wouldn’t give it up, but there is a much greater effort to share oneself with people over distance.

My parents made a trip down from Houston today just to join my bride and I for breakfast on Memorial Day. It was kind and generous and inspiring. They made an effort. They sacrificed time and space to join us today. How amazing is that? I must try harder to do the same.

The Gift of Presence

Day 97: Chase the Shine

Wait, Day 97? What happened to 96?

I missed it.

No excuse, I had an opportunity to do it during my break at work and I passed on. After that, when I got home I crashed. Hard. Been trying to do so much lately. Not the point.

I am proud that it took me 96 days before is missed a poem. New goal: try to go the rest of the year without missing another one. If I am to miss another, try to beat my 96 day streak.

Today’s poem is inspired by missing yesterday’s. I couldn’t tell you why Neverland and Peter Pan popped into my head, exactly, though in this context it certainly makes sense. Those stories are really depressing and downright frightening at their heart. Missed and stolen opportunities.

A piece of me mourns the loss of yesterday’s poem. It will never be written, never grow up, or go on adventures. It won’t even get to die because it was never born. Simply missed. An adventure not taken, an opportunity not explored. On the other hand, I am taking to heart why this is so valuable to me. The pursuit of dreams, seeing beauty realized and brought to fruition. Here is a rededication to never stop chasing the shine.

Chase the Shine

Day 86: Anticipation

Another examination of visceral sensation accompanying an emotion. Inspired by my own anticipation–I had my first meeting with my new editor last night and am meeting a new acquaintance later today. I’ve never considered myself particularly good with people and meeting new people is always difficult for me. So, I’m throwing myself into it. Wish me luck!

Anticipation

Day 83: Brain Center

Does anybody else ever wonder about your brain? What distinguishes us from it? When you get down to it, we are the sum of our memories which create our thoughts, electrical pulses zipping back and forth across this squiggly mass of grey matter. Are we the flesh housing or the energy coursing through it? Both? Neither?

Brain Center