Tag Archives: Decisions

Day 153: Pressure to Perform

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I am a writer. I write poetry and novels. Stories are my passion. Have been since I was a child.

I use pen names, pseudonyms, as much for marketing as to allow myself freedom to fail and be detached from my work. I’ve been taking steps this year to remove myself from that fear-driven mentality. I don’t think that I’ll ever give up pen names–as a self-publishing author they’re useful for brand recognition and marketing–but there are many ways to handle them and mindset matters.

Those thoughts got me thinking about other kinds of performers this morning. The strength that some of them generate by virtue of having to face that pressure to be perfect and doing their jobs anyway. What if they didn’t have to? Would they, and we as those who enjoy their performances, be better or worse for it?

Pressure to Perform

Day 152: Golden Problems

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There has always been a division in my life that amuses me to think on. Half the people dear to me think me a pessimist and the other half think me an optimist. The last few days have felt a little like a less dramatic Three Stooges skit. This morning I ran into another hiccup almost right out of the gate. But it occurred to me how lucky I am to have to deal with this particular hiccup. In fact, most, of not all of my problems ultimately stem from leading a truly blessed life. It’s not that my problems aren’t real or don’t hold weight, only that, now that I dwell on them, it is as if they are written in liquid gold.

Golden Problems

Day 148: Ants in a Rat Race

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I’ve been really caught up in work lately. My part time job, my novels, the audiobook production, trying to do everything in a day. I just about burned myself out. This weekend I took a big step back and let myself rest. I am rethinking my approach.

I have a truly blessed life. My problems are all great problems to have. I need to slow it down and enjoy my amazing present and the process.

Ants in a Rat Race

Day 143: How Do I Fly?

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It’s been one crazy week. A lot of tough learning, a lot of picking back up, and a lot of being pulled in multiple directions. It’s times like these that all we can do is pick one and go for it.

How Do I Fly?

Day 139: The Next Unsteady Step

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The hardest part for me about being a professional creative is the period of time that follows the completion of a project. The world and work doesn’t care that I’m done. I do. I’m tired. But there’s the next phase of the process. Marketing, production, making sure everything is formatted and edited just so. And, of course, there’s a thousand other projects all screaming for my attention.

Today’s work though isn’t just for myself. Some dear friends are experiencing something similar. They’ve undergone an impressive journey and are now reaching the end. They’re entering the post-conclusion crash stage. You’re not alone, my friends.

I typed this one out after running out of space on my notebook’s page. It had to happen eventually. I’ll take it as a good problem to have, just like this post conclusion crash, because it means I did it.

The Next Unsteady Step

It comes as a surprise

When a project labored over for so long

Is finished

Complete

Done

Like the Abrupt Conclusion

To Stepping Off a Cliff

Is there a Next?

So Many Nexts.

But my mind is still reeling

From the journey that

Felt like a Fall

My spirit still flattened,

Pulling Free From

The Impact Crater.

The World is Still Spinning

And screaming

Behind my Head

For the Next Step

–Take It Already!

There’s No Time For Triumph.

The World Doesn’t Care

About Your Fatigue

Dismissive of Your Disorientation.

The Challenge Has Been

Issued

So I Issue Back One of My Own

And Take That Next

Unsteady Step

Remembering–and Grateful–

That I am Not Alone

Day 134: Internal Abyss

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Had a good talk with my bride about the future last night. Thing was, even though it was good, there was an element of fear to it. I had to take a step back and remind myself verbally that this was a GOOD talk about possibilities and dreams and opportunities and growth. The element of fear didn’t come from the prospect of the future, it came from within. How many of us have held ourselves back not out of fear of the future, but because of the hungry fear inside of us?

Internal Abyss

Day 132: To Live is to Dare

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Mother’s Day has me thinking about courage and decisions. Say what you will about instinct, at the end of the day it is a choice to be a parent. A courageous choice and one worthy of admiration. I’ve been blessed with a pair of wonderful role models.

Happy Mother’s Day.

To Live is to Dare

Day 123: How We Wither

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Heh, today is day one two three. How about that?

Been fighting a bug that likes to strike hardest when I get up in the morning, which is when I usually do my writing. It’s driving me just a little bit crazy.

How We Wither