June 7 2020: Systemic Heart Failure

I have my doubts about how this one turned out but the subject matter has been weighing on me since yesterday when an emergency patient came into the animal clinic I work at. She was expanding like the blueberry girl from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

We tapped her like a keg and drained about 4 liters of fluids out over an hour and a half, during which time the vet reviewed her records and explained heart failure to me. I haven’t been able to get out of my head how delicate the whole system of our bodies is. One piece stops working right and everything compounds to come back around and make that one problem worse.

Food for thought: is the system that makes our society so different?

Day 182 & 184: Zenith; (Not) Working

Didn’t upload on Day 182 because I got caught up with my writing, ran out of time, and by the time I remembered I was supposed to actually share my poetry it was too late.

Day 183 happened to be my birthday and I don’t feel too badly admitting I was too caught up in the good things going on to write a poem.

Day 184, we’re all caught up.

I couldn’t help noticing some carryover from the themes of Monday’s poem to this morning’s entry. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to broken things and things that aren’t broken and when we give them our attention, when do we celebrate them. We have a very odd relationship with things that work and things that don’t. People too for that matter. It is absurdly complicated and doesn’t really make sense.

And I say all of this as one of the biggest offenders. When something works, when it does good, when it is steady and consistent and amazing, we ignore it until it isn’t. Instead we focus on repairing the broken. Is either right? Is either healthy? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Zenith

(Not) Working

Day 180 & 181: Information.Energy, The Wealth If a Journey

Yesterday’s poem delayed courtesy of computer issues that brought about a more than mild panic. Fortunately things appear to be in working order now. Yesterday’s poem was inspired by a conversation with a new friend and coworker about the imperfection of communication and how no matter how hard we try, information is always lost in the transference. Just like energy.

Information.Energy

Today’s poem was inspired by the realization that tomorrow marks day 182, which is more or less the halfway point (365/2=182.5~180). How awesome is that to consider! I’ve been at this for almost half a year!

The Wealth of a Journey

Days 162 & 163: Untitled; Living a Story

Confession. I hate yesterday’s poem. I’m sure I’m not alone as a poet who occasionally produces something he or she is unhappy with. I kept waiting for inspiration to strike me with something better and it never came. Lesson learned: push forward anyway. Momentum is more important than perfection. I’m beginning to suspect that I’m a rather dense student because this lesson seems somewhat familiar by this point.

In that spirit of moving forward, here are the poems for both 162 and 163.

I wanted to write about prosperity and this is what came out…

Untitled

I was contemplating the nature of control this morning and realized that I have several personal hangups surrounding it that I need to work on. One of which is the struggle with the idea that I am not the author of my own life, but rather the protagonist in my own story. It’s an interesting reframing that’s given me much to think on and at the same time is more than a little freeing.

Living a Story

Day 161: Untitled

Another Untitled piece because for the life of me I couldn’t come up with one. I’m open to suggestions if you have any.

This morning finds me thinking on the buildup before a big decision. Sometimes the decision is yours. Sometimes it is someone else’s. Sometimes they are very big decisions and sometimes they are small but significant decisions and sometimes there is more than one occurring at once.

Untitled

Days 157-159: Enough for the Stories; Free the Fear; Sniping for Success

I’ve got a bit of backlog again. I’ve been writing but not publishing my writing as I should. I’d intended to spread out several of these backed up poems out over the course of the day but the day had other plans. So did the next. And it has been brought to my attention that when a backlog such as this occurs, that those following his blog do not like being suddenly inundated with multiple updates. So, here is my attempt at compromise. One post. Three poems. Today’s own post will follow shortly.

Day 157: Enough for the Stories

This poem was written in an effort to recapture the loss of the poem, Creative’s Career, which I started in a moment of inspiration that was cut short and the scrap of paper I’d written it down on was thought lost. While the opening is very similar, It ultimately became its own thing. Every time I finish a book, my mind is overwhelmed with ideas. Many of them for entirely new projects or for things I’ve set aside to do later when often what I need to do most is push forward onto the next book in whatever series I’ve started. So many ideas. So many stories to tell. It’s a little overwhelming.

Enough for the Stories

Day 158: Free the Fear

I have been my own worst enemy with my writing. I’ve said before that part of the reason I use pennames is because they give me permission to fail. Permission to simply write. In essence, when I go into a piece knowing that I am going to publicly claim it as my own, I am writing from a place of fear and I think it is undermining my efforts. That got me thinking about the nature of fear and courage and what is required of me with regards to both if I am to succeed as a professional creative. Perhaps what is required of many of us going forward.

Free the Fear

Day 159: Sniping for Success

There is a principle in professional investing that is difficult for many to wrap their heads around, let alone embrace, and which I feel applies to many areas of life. Diversify your investments. Bleed money. Aim wide. The idea is that you’re waiting for something called a “black swan,” which is to say the rare and unpredictable success. Something is going to do well eventually and it all boils down to a test of endurance. Waiting for that single critical moment to strike, the build off of. Then repeating the process over again.

Sniping for Success

Day 145: Broken Pieces

I’ve got a book coming out in a few days. I am both excited and nervous. I put a lot into it, maybe more than anything I’ve done before. It’s winding me in knots. This book is a big risk for me in more ways than one and took me way outside my comfort zone. I’m more invested in its success than anything else I’ve ever written. It’s either going to belly flop into a vat of acid or take off. Here’s hoping it’s got wings.

Broken Pieces

Day 143: How Do I Fly?

It’s been one crazy week. A lot of tough learning, a lot of picking back up, and a lot of being pulled in multiple directions. It’s times like these that all we can do is pick one and go for it.

How Do I Fly?

Day 136: Watered Down Coffee

Two bad batches of coffee this morning. My bride and I are, naturally, devastated.

Watered Down Coffee