Work is keeping my bride and I apart again. It’s a wonderful problem to have. It means though that we don’t get to see each other enough and even when we do that amount isn’t enough because we know it’s only temporary and we are each left craving more.
My bride and I are attending the Houston Symphony tonight. They are performing in conjunction with footage provided by National Geographic and we are both very excited. Needless to say, today’s poem was inspired by my excitement and expectations. The idea of something so decidedly human as music juxtaposed to imagery of that which is untouched by man brings to mind thoughts of our relationship with nature and nature’s relationship with itself.
Confession. I hate yesterday’s poem. I’m sure I’m not alone as a poet who occasionally produces something he or she is unhappy with. I kept waiting for inspiration to strike me with something better and it never came. Lesson learned: push forward anyway. Momentum is more important than perfection. I’m beginning to suspect that I’m a rather dense student because this lesson seems somewhat familiar by this point.
In that spirit of moving forward, here are the poems for both 162 and 163.
I wanted to write about prosperity and this is what came out…
I was contemplating the nature of control this morning and realized that I have several personal hangups surrounding it that I need to work on. One of which is the struggle with the idea that I am not the author of my own life, but rather the protagonist in my own story. It’s an interesting reframing that’s given me much to think on and at the same time is more than a little freeing.
Another Untitled piece because for the life of me I couldn’t come up with one. I’m open to suggestions if you have any.
This morning finds me thinking on the buildup before a big decision. Sometimes the decision is yours. Sometimes it is someone else’s. Sometimes they are very big decisions and sometimes they are small but significant decisions and sometimes there is more than one occurring at once.
I’ve got a bit of backlog again. I’ve been writing but not publishing my writing as I should. I’d intended to spread out several of these backed up poems out over the course of the day but the day had other plans. So did the next. And it has been brought to my attention that when a backlog such as this occurs, that those following his blog do not like being suddenly inundated with multiple updates. So, here is my attempt at compromise. One post. Three poems. Today’s own post will follow shortly.
This poem was written in an effort to recapture the loss of the poem, Creative’s Career, which I started in a moment of inspiration that was cut short and the scrap of paper I’d written it down on was thought lost. While the opening is very similar, It ultimately became its own thing. Every time I finish a book, my mind is overwhelmed with ideas. Many of them for entirely new projects or for things I’ve set aside to do later when often what I need to do most is push forward onto the next book in whatever series I’ve started. So many ideas. So many stories to tell. It’s a little overwhelming.
I have been my own worst enemy with my writing. I’ve said before that part of the reason I use pennames is because they give me permission to fail. Permission to simply write. In essence, when I go into a piece knowing that I am going to publicly claim it as my own, I am writing from a place of fear and I think it is undermining my efforts. That got me thinking about the nature of fear and courage and what is required of me with regards to both if I am to succeed as a professional creative. Perhaps what is required of many of us going forward.
There is a principle in professional investing that is difficult for many to wrap their heads around, let alone embrace, and which I feel applies to many areas of life. Diversify your investments. Bleed money. Aim wide. The idea is that you’re waiting for something called a “black swan,” which is to say the rare and unpredictable success. Something is going to do well eventually and it all boils down to a test of endurance. Waiting for that single critical moment to strike, the build off of. Then repeating the process over again.
Everyone and everything has an opinion, it seems. Most of them are good and valid. What’s frustrating is when they are unsolicited and come from places, such as your own body and mind, that cannot be denied or ignored, and worse still when they are also opposed. Today has been a day of conflicting opinions and information. At this point, I’m over analyzing and optimization and ready to simply make things happen.
I’ve been really caught up in work lately. My part time job, my novels, the audiobook production, trying to do everything in a day. I just about burned myself out. This weekend I took a big step back and let myself rest. I am rethinking my approach.
I have a truly blessed life. My problems are all great problems to have. I need to slow it down and enjoy my amazing present and the process.
I’ve got a book coming out in a few days. I am both excited and nervous. I put a lot into it, maybe more than anything I’ve done before. It’s winding me in knots. This book is a big risk for me in more ways than one and took me way outside my comfort zone. I’m more invested in its success than anything else I’ve ever written. It’s either going to belly flop into a vat of acid or take off. Here’s hoping it’s got wings.
It’s been one crazy week. A lot of tough learning, a lot of picking back up, and a lot of being pulled in multiple directions. It’s times like these that all we can do is pick one and go for it.
The hardest part for me about being a professional creative is the period of time that follows the completion of a project. The world and work doesn’t care that I’m done. I do. I’m tired. But there’s the next phase of the process. Marketing, production, making sure everything is formatted and edited just so. And, of course, there’s a thousand other projects all screaming for my attention.
Today’s work though isn’t just for myself. Some dear friends are experiencing something similar. They’ve undergone an impressive journey and are now reaching the end. They’re entering the post-conclusion crash stage. You’re not alone, my friends.
I typed this one out after running out of space on my notebook’s page. It had to happen eventually. I’ll take it as a good problem to have, just like this post conclusion crash, because it means I did it.
It comes as a surprise
When a project labored over for so long
Is finished
Complete
Done
Like the Abrupt Conclusion
To Stepping Off a Cliff
Is there a Next?
So Many Nexts.
But my mind is still reeling
From the journey that
Felt like a Fall
My spirit still flattened,
Pulling Free From
The Impact Crater.
The World is Still Spinning
And screaming
Behind my Head
For the Next Step
–Take It Already!
There’s No Time For Triumph.
The World Doesn’t Care
About Your Fatigue
Dismissive of Your Disorientation.
The Challenge Has Been
Issued
So I Issue Back One of My Own
And Take That Next
Unsteady Step
Remembering–and Grateful–
That I am Not Alone
The Everyday Poet 